


Even if the skies get rough

by Lamppu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Character Death, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Dean, Top Cas, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 07:39:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3969569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamppu/pseuds/Lamppu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a night of passion, Dean finds out that he's pregnant with Cas' child. Will he accept it, or will he deny it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a bunch to my betas over at tumblr: Fawniefei and Nihonlove. I couldn't have done this without your help. <333

“Ah, Cas...Mmmooore...” Dean moans as Cas sucks his cock earnestly. His head bobs up and down, while his fingers are on the base of Dean's cock, in an attempt to keep his lover from coming too early. He really needs to buy a cockring…His other hand is massaging Dean's heavy balls, and as much as Dean would love for things to go further than that, Cas is taking his sweet time.

Cas lets the head of Dean's cock plop out from between his lips with a lewd, wet pop. A trail of saliva connects the head of the cock with Cas' lips for a split second.

“Soon, sweetheart.” Cas smiles with his lips shining from spit as he leans in to give a chaste kiss on Dean's lips, where the hunter can taste himself.

After some more amazing blowing, Cas' fingers finally move to Dean's entrance and they linger there.

“Fuck yeah...” Dean sighs in pleasure, and hears the audible pop of the lube bottle as Cas opens it and pours some on his fingers.

“This might feel a little cold.” Cas warns him in advance, but Dean just shakes his head.

“Don't care. Come on.” He ushers Cas to continue, and the angel does so by inserting his index finger to the first knuckle into Dean's hole as gently as he can, which isn't very much. The discomfort makes Dean groan and Cas hushes him.

“It's alright, love. It's a little uncomfortable at first, but trust me: It’ll get a lot better.” Cas explains.

This is Dean's first time bottoming, and it was mostly Cas' idea. During their previous sessions of intercourse, Cas sensed that Dean doesn't enjoy being the top as much as he lets on. So, Cas suggested that they try this once, and if Dean likes it, they'll continue with it in the future. If not, Cas will continue to be the bottom.

However, Dean seems to like this, so far. Being the top suits Cas just fine. He's fine with being either, top or bottom. As long as he can bring pleasure to Dean, he's happy.

Dean's walls seem to crumble beneath Cas' hands, so he counts that as a win. If this is what will help to banish Dean's anxieties and burden of being in charge of pretty much everything, he's happy, because _he_ made Dean's burden disappear. Even if for a moment.

By the third digit, Dean's impatiently fucking himself down onto Cas' fingers. “Come on, Cas...I'm ready.” He moans, but Cas knows better.

“Not yet. It's gonna hurt if I enter too early.”

“Don't care. Wanna feel the burn...” Dean says as he continues to fuck himself down to Cas' fingers.

The angel gives in. “Remember, I did warn you...” He says softly to Dean's ear, which makes the hunter shudder.

Dean feels Cas' fingers withdraw from his hole, and it makes him whine at the loss, but when he looks up at Cas, he sees the angel coating his cock with the lube and Dean can feel his mouth water. He doesn't know what it’s gonna feel like when Cas is inside of him, but from what he knows from previous times with Cas, he's in for a ride.

When Cas aligns his cock to Dean's entrance, the hunter swallows loudly.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Dean? We can stop if you want.” Cas says softly and gently brushes his thumb along Dean's cheekbone.

“Yeah, I'm sure. Just a little nervous...” Dean admits shyly, but Cas understands. The first time bottoming made him nervous, as well.

Cas nods, and pushes the head of his cock in. Dean throws his head back and hisses in pain. Cas kinda wants to say ”I told you so”, but he leaves it unsaid. He doesn't want to ruin the mood.

Cas lets Dean get adjusted to the head of his cock, and once Dean gives him a nod, a permission to continue, he presses further in, making Dean groan.

By the time Cas is fully sheathed inside of Dean, they're both panting.

“Fuck...I feel so full.” Dean moans loudly, and it's music to Cas' ears.

After letting Dean adjust to his full length, Cas starts slowly to move.

“Woah...Feels kinda weird.” Dean laughs lazily, making Cas smile.

When Cas picks up the pace, Dean can't help but moan and groan in time with the thrusts. Then, Cas hits Dean's prostate and the hunter keens loudly in pleasure. Cas stops for a minute, letting Dean come down from his high.

“Th-that's...That felt _awesome_.” Dean pants. “Do – Do it again.”

Cas nods, and does as he's requested. On every other thrust he hits Dean's prostate, keeping the hunter moaning lewdly. The room is filled with Dean's moans, Cas' grunts and skin slapping on skin.

“Ah, Cas, fuck, that feels – Oh!” Cas hits Dean's prostate once again, making Dean moan in mid-sentence. A fine sheen of sweat covers them both, making their skin glow in the warm light.

“Faster, Cas...! Faster!” Dean keens and Cas picks up the pace, now hitting Dean's prostate on every single thrust, making the hunter below him howl in pleasure.

“Cas! I can't – I'm gonna – ” Dean pants, but before he can finish his sentence, he's coming with long and thick ropes, coating his and Cas' abdomen. Cas follows suit, tensing above Dean as he comes inside of Dean. Then the angel heavily collapses on top of him, and after their breathing returns back within normal limits, Cas starts to pull out of Dean, but the hunter clasps his shoulders with his sweaty hands, stopping him.

“Dean?” Cas asks, a little confused.

“I wanna ... I wanna feel you. Inside of me. I ... I love it.” Dean admits and Cas runs his fingers through Dean's damp hair.

“Very well, Dean. Let's just change positions?” Cas suggests, and the two turn to their sides, facing each other.

“That was… Mind blowing.” Dean chuckles and it makes Cas laugh, too. He then kisses Dean on his lips.

“I love you, Dean. I really do.”

If Dean's face wasn't as flushed as it is, it would turn red from embarrassment.

“Love you too.” Dean finally says.

They fall asleep in each other's arms.

  
\- -

  
_4 months later..._

  
Dean's throwing up. Again.

The first time he threw up didn't sound any alarms, but when it began happening daily, Cas got worried. And for a good reason. Dean also stopped drinking, which was a welcome surprise to Sam and Cas, but it still had them wondering.

As Dean empties his stomach once again, Cas is there, rubbing circles to his back in a comforting manner.

“Why me...” Dean whines, and Cas wishes he knew the answer.

“Come on, Dean. Let's go back to bed. You need rest.” Cas suggests and Dean nods, lethargically. He flushes the toilet and rinses his mouth, and follows Cas back to bed.

“Are you alright?” Cas asks as they lie down under the covers.

“Other than that I just threw up what I ate yesterday, I'm peachy.” Dean grumbles and turns away from Cas. Dean's also been a lot moodier lately, not really accepting Cas' displays of affection, which makes the angel wonder what's going on inside his boyfriend's head. He'd read Dean's thoughts, but they agreed that Cas wouldn’t do that, unless it's an absolute emergency.

Well, Cas considers this an emergency, and he really wishes that he could read Dean's mind and see what's wrong. Dean did, however, give Cas the permission to try and heal him, but after multiple times, they found out that it couldn’t be done, which has Cas worrying even more.

Dean falls asleep and Cas decides to let him sleep in peace. He gets out of bed after a while, walks through the bunker and to the kitchen, where Sam is already making breakfast.

“Morning, Cas.” He greets the angel. “How's Dean?”

Cas shakes his head and Sam sighs.

“We really need to figure out what's wrong with him, Cas. This can't go on any longer.” Sam says and Cas nods in agreement.

“I agree, but Dean won't let me see what's wrong with him.”

“Why?”

“I don't know. Maybe he's afraid I might read his mind. He's just so stubborn.”

At that, Sam huffs out an amused laugh. “Well, you're right about that. But, isn't he worried?”

“He seems to ignore the whole issue and keeps telling me that it's nothing more than a stomach bug. But, if that were the case, shouldn't he be better by now? It's been months...”

“If I were you, I'd see what's wrong with him when he's sleeping.” Sam suggests, but Cas shakes his head.

“I can't do that. I don't want to betray his trust. Not again.

Sam sighs, frustrated, and runs a hand through his long hair. “Yeah, I guess you're right, Cas. We'll just have to wait and hope that Dean will come to you voluntarily.”

 

\- -

 

Some time passes, and to their relief, Dean stops throwing up every day. Instead of throwing up, his appetite increases and he gets weird cravings that Cas sometimes has to get for him in the middle of the night. He also gets mood swings pretty often. Cas has also noticed that Dean's gaining a little weight around his middle, but he doesn't mind that, at all. In fact, he finds it endearing that Dean is comfortable enough around him to let himself go a little.

“You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that Dean's pregnant.” Sam throws in the air one day as a joke, but it makes Cas stop in his tracks. Dean only laughs at his brother's idea.

“Yeah, right. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a woman.” Dean says, mouth full of his number one cravings: Fries dipped in ice cream. The craving doesn't make any sense to Cas or Sam, but Dean seems to like it, so they indulge him.

“Dean...What if it's possible?” Cas asks him, nervous.

“What, for men to get pregnant? Cas, I thought you knew human anatomy better than that.”

“No, not just any human male: an angel's mate. Think about it.” Cas says and Dean's eyes widen in horror.

“Come on, Cas... Stop messing around.” Dean says nervously as he puts the fries down.

“While I really don't want to know what happens in the bedroom with the two of you, Cas has a point. The morning sickness, mood swings, weird cravings, the fact that your middle has expanded...” Sam says, utterly serious. He and Cas turn to look at Dean, who's mouth is gaping open.

“S-stop it you two…You're really starting to freak me out.” He says, voice breaking.

“Let me make sure, Dean. Let me take a look at you.” Cas says, staring intently into Dean's eyes and the hunter can't look away from them.

“Come on, Dean. Let him check, so we'll know for sure.” Sam says, and when Dean turns to look at him, he has the puppy dog look on his face, full force.

“Pffssh... Fine.” Dean finally says, making Cas and Sam sigh in relief.

Then, Cas proceeds to press two fingers on Dean's forehead, and starts searching. After a while, he stops.

“I didn't find anything...” Cas says, feeling a little defeated.

Just as Dean's about to make a remark, Sam butts in. “Take a closer look, Cas.” He says and Cas nods, pressing his fingers to Dean's forehead once more.

This time, he dives in deeper. For a while he doesn't find anything, but then something familiar reaches out to him and Cas looks at Dean in wonder.

“I...I can feel it.” Cas says, mouth dry and Dean's face falls.

“Are – Are you sure?” Dean asks, barely a whisper.

“Its grace is reaching out to me. Dean, you carry new life inside of you.”

At that, Dean wrenches himself away from Cas' reach.

“Take it out!!” He screams, making Sam and Cas flinch away from him.

“Dean--” Sam tries to reason with his brother, but Dean is not hearing any of it.

“I didn't ask for this! Take it out, Cas! Now!”

“I–I...” Cas stutters and then something dawns on Dean and he gasps.

“You...You did this to me! That – that time when I first bottomed for you!” Dean abruptly stands up, his chair falling over and hitting the floor.

“Dean...” Cas says, trying to calm his erratic boyfriend down, but it doesn't work.

“Get out! I don't wanna see your face!”

That really hurt Cas, and he leaves the kitchen in defeat, with Sam looking after the angel.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't take it out on Cas! He's done nothing wrong!” Sam yells, but shuts up when he sees the absolute fury on Dean's face. “Fine, have it your way.” Sam spits and goes after Cas.

When Dean is alone in the kitchen, he falls to his knees and starts bawling. Not far from the kitchen, Sam and Cas can hear him. Cas is about to turn back and go to him, but Sam stops him.

“Let him be. He needs to process this.”

“You're right. I'll pack my things and go.”

“Wait – what? No, Cas - ”

“You heard him. He doesn't want to see me right now, so I'll go to a nearby motel for a few days, and let him calm down in peace.”

“Yeah, I guess that's good...I'll let you know when it's safe for you to come back.

“Thank you, Sam.” Cas says with a sad smile, and the two part ways, with Sam going to his own room and Cas to his and Dean's, to pack his things.

After Cas leaves, Dean sneaks to their shared room - he doesn’t want Sam’s endless questions right now - and lies down on their bed, with his hands on his belly.

_Is this for real?_

Dean’s seen and experienced a lot of strange things during his hunting days, but nothing like this. Men shouldn’t be able to get pregnant.

How is this gonna work? Is he gonna...Is he gonna give birth to a baby? What happens after that? Are him and Cas gonna raise it? One thing that stands out the most in his thoughts is that if he’d be a good father for the baby. Or...a mother. He doesn’t really know which he is, being a pregnant man after all.

“What the fuck am I gonna do?” Dean sighs, turns over and closes his eyes.

He can’t sleep that night.

  
\- -

 

Two months pass, and Cas is still gone. Sam had called him when he saw that his brother missed the angel, but Cas said that he had found some angels and wanted to help them.

Dean misses his angel. If he's honest with himself, he waited Cas to come back the same evening. He misses him so, so much that he cries himself to sleep almost every night and before falling asleep he tearfully prays to Cas, asking for him to come back home, but Dean hasn't heard anything from him.

 _Maybe he really left me…_ Dean thinks as he lies in bed, hugging Cas' pillow.

“I'm sorry, Cas...Please, come back home...” He cries. Damn hormones. He waits for the sound of Cas' wings, but it never comes. He buries his face to the pillow and cries.

Then, he feels the baby's grace reaching out to him, and it calms him down. It's been doing that alot lately, and Dean's started to like it. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, though. His hands find their way to his distended belly, and the grace gets stronger. He's talked to the baby a couple of times even, when he's been really lonely. If Dean's calculations are correct, he's about 6 months pregnant.

“Your daddy doesn't answer my prayers. What should I do? Should I call him?” He asks the unborn child and feels a warm sensation spread through him.

“I'll take that as a yes...But, what if he doesn't want to talk to me?” He asks, and feels another wave of warmth inside of him. It helps him calm down his nerves a little.

“Yeah, alright, I'll call him.” Dean says, after gaining some confidence.

He searches Cas from his phone's contact list, which isn't hard, and hits the call button. He feels a little nervous again, since he hasn't seen or talked to Cas since he told the angel to get lost.

After a few rings, Dean hears the familiar voice of his boyfriend.

“Dean?”

“Hey, Cas...” Dean says, a little ashamed how things went down two months ago.

“Are you alright? Is everything okay?” Cas sounds so concerned that it brings tears to Dean's eyes.

“I'm – I'm fine, Cas. I – God, I miss you so much. I'm sorry for yelling at you --”

“Dean. Dean...” Cas calls out to him. “It's alright. You were in a shock. There's nothing to be sorry about.”

“So, you're not...mad?”

“No, Dean. Of course not.”

“Then why you haven't come home yet?”

“I was supposed to come home some time ago, but I'm helping some lost angels find their way.”

“Why haven't you answered my prayers? Do you even hear me?”

“Yes, I heard your prayers...And it broke my heart, Dean, to hear you crying out to me. I was going to call you, but I've been very busy. I promise to call you from now on.”

“You...You aren't coming home?”

“Not yet, no...I'm sorry, I'll come back when I can.”

Dean's heart sinks a little. Is Cas really choosing some random angels over him? Well, he sort of understands…Cas wants to help his brothers and sisters after everything he did to Heaven.

“Okay, Cas. I'll be waiting. Come back, soon.”

“I will, Dean. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The call ends there, and while Dean feels a little relieved, he's saddened by the fact that Cas isn't coming home yet.

“Well, it seems that your daddy doesn't hate me after all. That's good news, right?” Dean says and gently caresses his belly, thanking his unborn child for the courage.

_Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to keep this baby, after all…_

“Hey, wanna know more about your family?” Dean asks the baby as he stands up from his bed and walks to his desk. If he’s really gonna keep this kid, it needs to learn more about it’s family.

“Heh, you can’t really see this, but...” Dean says as he picks up the only picture he has of his mother. “This is my mom. Your grandma. She’s not here anymore, but she was an amazing lady. I can only hope to be as great of a mother as she was to me and Sammy. Of course, Sammy didn’t get to know her, because she died when Sammy was very young...You already know Sam, he’s the sasquatch who keeps telling me to eat more healthily and asks me if I’m feeling okay.

Our dad took care of us after mom died, and he tried his best, under the circumstances. He really did. He died, too, a few years ago, but he died saving me.

Then there’s uncle Bobby...He’s dead, too. But it’s okay, he’s in heaven and I think he’s doing pretty good.” Dean talks to the baby, and gets a warm sensation seeping through him as a response.

“You like to hear me talk about my family? Wanna hear about your other daddy?” Dean baby-talks, and doesn’t realize it until he’s said it. He blushes, because he never talks like that...

“Your daddy is a celestial being. He’s an angel, like you will be. Well, you’ll be half angel half human, but you know what I mean. He saved papa, that’s me, from Hell when I died and you know how I thanked him? I stabbed him the chest.” Dean laughs and feels more warmth radiating from his belly.

“We didn’t really get along at first, but as the time passed...He became my best friend. He died for me many, many times and despite all the mistakes that papa has made, daddy always forgave him. I and I forgave daddy, even if he hurt me very badly. Don’t worry -- he wasn’t himself at the time. He would never hurt me on purpose. He...made some bad choices, but don’t we all? What I’m trying to say, is that your daddy is a great person and I’m sure he’s gonna love you, too. Of course he will. I just hope he’d come and see me...I miss him.”

Suddenly, he feels sad. Talking about Cas makes Dean miss him, and worry about him. He feels tears stinging in his eyes, but then he feels a comforting sensation go through his entire being, and it makes him feel a bit better.

“Well, at least I still have you. Hey, wanna listen to some music? I have some great ones that I’m sure you’ll like..”

  
_\--_

 

Cas visits Dean that night, while the hunter is asleep. He’s been doing that a lot lately, visiting Dean while he sleeps. For some reason he hasn’t told Dean about it, and he’s not entirely sure why. Clearly Dean misses the angel and would welcome him back to the bunker.

He looks fondly at his lover, who is sleeping with his hand on his growing belly. Where their child is. Cas walks next to the bed, crouches down and gives Dean a feather-light kiss on his forehead and runs his hand gently through his short hair.

Then, he places his hand on Dean’s belly, in order to feel the baby. Immediately he feels a spark of familiar grace, and it makes him smile broadly.

“Hello again, little one.” Cas whispers. During Cas’ nightly visits, he’s been grace-bonding with their child and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He’d love to visit Dean during the day, but he simply has no time. He has important things to attend to, and while Dean and the baby should be his first priority, he’s sure that Dean understands.

When the baby is born, Cas vows not to leave Dean’s side.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean is _big_. Well, to be more specific, his belly is. While he's feeling a little self-conscious about it, he can't keep his hands off of the baby bump.

On top of being huge, Dean's been horny. A lot. Apparently pregnancy increases the sex drive, but he had no idea it would get this bad.

“Ah, fuck...The things you do to me, kid...” Dean laughs as he slowly pumps his cock.

“I wish your dad were here, to take care of this.” He moans as he gently bends his cock. Not enough to hurt, but enough to feel oh so good.

He pumps his cock for a while, but feels like it's not enough. He needs Cas inside of him _yesterday_.

“Cas, you fucker...” He moans as he kneels on the bed, opens a bottle of lube and coats his fingers with it. Then, he goes for his hole, gently pressing the first digit in, up to the first knuckle.

After a while he has three fingers inside of him, and he must look like an utter mess: Hair disheveled, ass up in the air and fingers up in his ass. He tries so, so hard to hit his prostate, but to his frustration, he can't seem to reach it from this position.

He adds in a fourth finger and his eyes flutter close because of the sweet, sweet burn. His cock is steadily leaking pre-come down onto the bed, but he doesn't care. All he cares about right now is finding his –

“Ahn!” Dean moans as he finally finds his prostate. He starts pumping his fingers in and out, and finds himself rocking his body in time with his pumping. He's afraid that Sam will hear his loud moans, but on the other hand, he could care less if his brother hears him.

After a few more brushes against his prostate, Dean is coming, hard. He keens loudly, pretty sure that THAT Sam must've heard. He rides out his orgasm and once he comes down from the high, he collapses to the bed on his side and feels oh so relieved. He hasn't come like that since...Well, since he bottomed for Cas. In fact, this was his first time touching himself after that, as well. The need for it just too great that he had to do _something_ about it.

“I hope you won't think of me as a perv.” Dean laughs, addressing his unborn child and as a response he feels a wave of warmth pulse through him. It makes him smile.

“I can't wait to see you.”

  
\- -

 

The next morning he hears a knock on his door. He puts on pants and jumps out of bed as fast as he can.

_Cas?!_

He wrenches the door open, hoping to see his lover, but finds Sam looking at him, instead. Dean feels disappointed, but the baby's grace helps him to get over it.

“What's up Sammy?” He asks.

“I got a hunt for us. Vampire's nest.”

Dean looks at Sam dumbfoundedly.

“Uh, in case you haven't noticed, I'm pregnant.” Dean smiles sarcastically and grabs his belly from both sides to emphasize his point.

“Yeah, I know. I haven't taken you to hunts after you hit 5 months, but this nest seems to be a big one. It's a two man job, Dean. I can do all the heavy lifting, you just need to watch my back. That's it.”

“Why didn’t you ask for other hunters?” Dean asks, not really wanting to go.

“I tried, but they have their hands full. Please, Dean?”

Dean thinks about Sam's plea for help. Then, he makes his decision.

“I'll get dressed, hold on.” He says and closes the door.

“I'll wait for you outside.” Sam says through the door and Dean can hear him walk away.

He undresses from his pyjamas and puts on some pregnancy-fied jeans and a large t-shirt with a green button up over it. Then, he feels a wave of nervousness spread through him.

“Shh, it's alright. It'll be okay. I'll protect you.” Dean assures the baby, and while there's still some lingering nervousness, he feels a glimmer of trust push through. “That's my boy...or girl.” Dean smiles and follows Sam outside.

  
\- -

  
It takes them two hours to drive to their location, with Sam driving. He hasn't allowed Dean to drive due to his condition.

They book a motel room as their base, and Sam does all the detective work on the field while Dean has to stay cooped up inside the motel room, doing research. Not that he minds, he doesn't want to risk losing the baby, now that he actually wants to keep it.

Sam gets back to the motel before sundown.

“I think I've found their nest. I'm gonna go and make sure, and if it's their nest, I'll come back to pick you up.”

Dean scoffs. “Why all the trouble? I'll come with, nest or no nest.

Sam sighs. “Okay, but be careful. Watch your back, and mine if needed.”

“Gotcha.”

  
\- -

 

They're at the abandoned farm in less than 10 minutes. It's in the middle of nowhere. They park the Impala by the edge of the forest, because they want to have the element of surprise against the vamps.

The brothers sneak up to the house and circle it, trying to see if anyone's inside.

“Seems empty from here.” Sam whispers to Dean, who agrees.

“Let's check the inside. I'll check the basement, you take the first floor.” Sam says.

“How about we both go to the basement together? I saw a cellar door on the left side of the house.”

“Okay, let's hit the basement first.”

They walk around to the other side of the house, and Dean opens the cellar doors. Sam goes in first with his machete ready, and Dean follows him soon after. He closes the doors as quietly as he can.

The basement is _huge_ and dark, making it hard for the Winchesters to see. There’s a lot of discarded furniture, so the vamps could be hiding anywhere…Dean finds a lightswitch, but it doesn’t work.

They search the basement and find absolutely nothing worthwhile, until Dean notices a hole in the wall behind one of the old bookshelves. He takes a peek and sees the nest inside, but it’s empty. He whistles Sam to him, and the younger Winchester is by the nest in an instant.

“It's empty.” Sam states the obvious.

“Maybe they've left and relocated somewhere else? Maybe they're hiding upstairs?”

“Maybe, but we still need to be caref –” Sam's sentence is cut short when a large male vampire jumps him from behind.

“Sam!” Dean shouts for his brother, until he feels someone hold him from behind.

“Wow, look at this, Jeff. Dinner.” The female vampire holding Dean hisses.

“Fuck you.” Dean spits and tries to wrench himself from the vampire's hold, but to no avail.

More vampires surround them, and the vampire holding Sam hits him with a bat, sending the younger Winchester falling down on the floor. Four vampires hold him on the ground and tie him up.

“Sammy! You fuckers, let him go!” Dean yells, but then he falls to the ground himself and feels himself being tied up.

“Kinky, aren't you?” Dean says. “Hell, I'd appreciate some bondage any other time.”

The vampire holding him down snickers. “Feisty, this one. Can't wait to drink him empty.” A deep, male voice above him says and he feels his ties being tightened.

_Okay, this is no joke...Cas, I need you here!_ Dean prays, but gets no answer. _Figures. He's busy helping other angels while his lover is in danger..._

Then Dean is hit unconscious, his last thought being Cas and their child.

  
\- -

  
He wakes up with a massive headache, and finds himself tied to a chair, with Sam across him.

“Sammy? Are you okay?” He groans, and gets a slow nod as a response.

“We were ambushed. Fuck.” Dean curses.

_How the Hell are we gonna get out of this one? Maybe I should try praying to Cas one more time?_

_Cas, me and Sammy are in a pickle. Would appreciate the help before we're both vamp dinner._

No response. _Fuck_. _Cas, seriously!_ He prays, hard.

Dean and Sam turn their heads when a door opens and three vampires step into the room they're held captive in.

“Well, well, well…If it isn't the Winchesters. I'm so glad our trap worked.”

“You mean you lured us in here on purpose?” Sam asks and the vampire laughs.

“Well, of course. To finally get rid of you, but first, we'll feast on your blood.” The vampire leader laughs, and his eyes land on Dean and his distended belly.

“Wow, Dean. You really let yourself go.” He smirks, walks up to Dean and puts his hands on Dean's belly. “Well, I don't care about that, as long as you --” And then he feels a hard kick against his hand, making him flinch back.

“What the…Are you seriously--?” The vampire laughs hysterically. “Oh, this is perfect! Somehow you poor thing got yourself knocked up! I believe I've seen it all now.” He says and drags Dean's machete along his belly, making the hunter try to back away from the machete, but it's useless.

“I think we'll start with you first, and let your brother see how you die.”

At this, Sam tries to struggle himself out of the chair, to no avail. Four more vampires enter the room.

“Dinner time.” One of them says and licks her lips.

The leader vampire rolls Dean's sleeves up and makes deep, long cuts on his forearms that start bleeding instantly. Two vampires latch on to the left arm, and another two to his right arm, and they start sucking earnestly. All the while Sam struggles in vain to free himself.

Then the vampire leader cuts Dean's cheeks, and one vampire on each side attack his bleeding cuts. Then he rips Dean's shirt, revealing his chest and cuts a small but deep cut under his collarbone, where he himself starts sucking away, with Sam watching in horror as his brother is slowly being drained of blood. The leader vampire turns around to Sam, and says:

“Don't worry. You'll be next.” Then he goes back to sucking.

It doesn't take long for Dean to lose all color from his skin and start feeling dizzy, his eyes unfocused. God, he feels so tired...

After what seems like hours, the vampires stop. Dean is left shaking as the vampires stand up.

“You really were delicious. I kinda want to NOT kill you, and just keep you to myself. Oh, well. The world is a better place without you in it.”

Dean can make out only bits and pieces of what the vampire is saying. He's barely conscious.

“Say goodbye to your brother, Sam.” The vampire smirks. He picks up Dean's bloody machete from the ground and strikes the large blade into Dean's abdomen.

“No!!” Sam screams and is then hit with a gust of wind and bright light.

The leader vampire slumps down to the ground, beheaded.

“Cas!” Sam's probably never been this happy to see the angel. In an instant Sam is freed from his bindings and he rushes over to his brother's side as Cas takes on the rest of the vampires.

Sam frees Dean from the chair, and the older Winchester would fall right to the ground if Sam wasn't there to catch him. He lies Dean down to the ground, with Dean's head on his lap.

“Come on, Dean...Don't leave us like this.”

Finally, Cas kills the last vampire. He's covered in blood, but with a little grace he's clean again. When he sees Dean lying on the ground, he hurries to him.

“Cas, you – You gotta help him.” Sam pleads, with tears in his eyes.

Cas puts his hands on Dean's forehead and belly, and begins to heal him. Sam can see the wounds close up and the blood from Dean's skin disappear.

He can't feel the baby anymore and he feels his heart break. He decides to mourn their child later, because right now Dean needs him.

“I cannot help with the blood loss. I'll take him to a hospital.” Cas says, and before Sam can open his mouth to reply, Dean and Cas are gone.

Less than a minute later Sam gets a text from Cas, where the angel tells him their location. Sam runs to the Impala as fast as he can, and floors it.

When Cas lands in the middle of the emergency room, everyone around him are confused as to how he did that. He disguises Dean as a woman for the duration of the hospital visit, so no one has anything to say about a pregnant man. Of course, Cas doesn’t really turn Dean into a woman, but makes everyone think that he is.

“Please, help her!” Cas shouts, holding Dean in his arms.

When everyone comes down from their shock and realize that this man needs help, three nurses and a doctor run to Cas.

“What’s wrong with her?” The doctor asks, and the nurses prepare a bed for Dean.

“She’s…She’s lost blood. Too much.” Cas says, his voice shaking.

“Alright…What’s her bloodtype?”

“A-AB.”

Once the doctor has her answer, she tells one of the nurses to fetch her some AB blood, quickly.

“Alright...” The doctor says as she starts inspecting Dean’s possible wounds, but is confused when there are none.

“Can - Can you check if the baby is alright?” Cas asks, worried for his lover and their child. There’s a very small chance that the baby is still alive, since Dean did have a machete struck into his abdomen just few minutes before.

“Y-yes, of course.” She says, and asks one of the nurses to bring an ultrasound. She looks around Dean’s belly, but finds no movement. She does, however, find the baby.

“Oh my god…”

“Is - Is the baby alright?” Cas asks, and the doctor comes down from her confused state.

“I…I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid the baby is dead. Do you want us to take it out surgically?”

Cas doesn’t fully comprehend what he feels when he hears the devastating news, but he has the urge to just fall down to the floor and scream.

“Y-yes, if that’s for the best.”

“We can’t do the surgery just yet, as her condition is unstable. When she’s stable, we can take the baby out.”

“Thank you.” Cas says and the nurse who was sent to pick up AB blood comes back and Cas doesn’t really understand all that well what they’re doing, but he knows that they’re doing whatever they can to save Dean.

Once Dean is hooked in tubes and blood is being transferred into him, the doctor lets the nurses take over for now. They bring a chair for Cas to sit on, and Cas sits down next to Dean.

Cas is happy to notice that Dean’s skin gains back its color. That’s always a good sign.

“I’m so sorry, Dean...” The angel whispers and kisses Dean on his forehead.

That night, when Sam is with Dean, Cas leaves the hospital.

He’s standing in the middle of a room, that smells and _feels_ like home. However, it’s not home. Not anymore. The realm he had created to be his, Dean’s and their baby’s nest, will not hear the laughter of a child. It will not witness the first time the baby crawls or walks. He started building the nest when Dean was more accepting towards the baby, but didn’t tell the hunter. Cas wanted it to be a surprise.

As he walks towards the nest, he feels his throat close. _Can angels cry?_   Cas wonders, but despite the sadness he feels, the tears won’t fall.

He sits in the middle of their nest, that is made of various items from the bunker. The base was a large mattress. It was a struck of luck that neither Sam or Dean noticed that some things started to go missing.

Suddenly, he’s sad  _and_ angry. He stands up and screams with his true form, and it’s enough to shatter all the light bulbs if he were at the bunker. He starts tearing the nest apart with his bare hands, snarling. He throws everything around the room, not caring if he breaks something. He flings the rocking chair he purchased onto the floor and when it doesn’t break, he destroys it with his grace, leaving nothing but shreds of wood behind.

He’s out of breath once he’s done destroying the nest. There’s absolutely nothing left. Even the mattress is torn apart. He looks at himself from the mirror he placed on the wall, and it shatters under his furious gaze.

He feels so _defeated_. He collapses to his knees in the middle of the room, and wishes he could cry. It doesn’t stop him from sobbing, though. His hands shake and he wishes that Dean would hold his hand and tell him that everything’s going to be okay, but no, his lover is in the hospital, possibly fighting for his _life_.

It takes Cas a long time before he calms down. Then, he returns to the hospital, to be with Dean. He acts like nothing happened.

  
\- -

  
After the surgery, Dean seems to be in some level of shock, because he doesn’t speak, react to anything or look directly at anyone. Not even Cas.

When Dean hears that the baby has been removed and buried, he stops talking. He now has a huge surgical scar on his abdomen, and even if Cas does offer to heal it, Dean declines. Cas doesn’t even have to wonder why - Dean wants to feel the loss. He wants to mourn, and if there is no proof of their child being inside of him, he wouldn’t be able to do that.

After Dean gains most of his strength back, he gets released from the hospital. Sam drives them back to the bunker, with Cas and Dean in the backseat where Dean lies with his head on Cas' lap. Cas could've transported them easily, but with Dean's condition, he doesn't want to risk it.

  
\- -

 

It's been three weeks since the vampire accident and Dean has hardly left his room. Cas stays with him in bed as long as Dean allows him to.

“Dean, it's been three weeks now.” Sam says as Dean wanders to the kitchen, with Cas not far behind him.

Dean touches his now flattened stomach, and Sam seems to understand.

“I thought you wanted to get rid of it?” He asks, and Dean turns to look at him, furious. As fast as he came into the kitchen, he leaves. This time, Cas stays behind.

“I believe he changed his mind about the baby.” He tells Sam once Dean is out of hearing range.

“Damn.” Sam sighs and runs a hand through his face. “Has he talked about it with you?”

“No, he hasn't spoken a word. He'll talk when he's ready.” Cas says and goes after Dean.

Once he reaches their room, he finds Dean sitting on the floor, in the middle of the room. Cas sits down next to him and takes Dean in his arms

“I wanted to keep it.” Dean finally speaks, his voice rough from disuse. Cas stays silent, waiting for Dean to talk.

“I even thought of names.” Dean says, voice shaking and tears stinging in his eyes. He hasn't really cried for their unborn child yet.

“We shared a connection, a bond...I feel empty now that it's gone and I can't feel it anymore." Dean admits.

“I wanted to keep it as well. I even bought this for it.” Cas says and fishes a plushy bee toy from his pocket. Dean takes it in his arms and hugs it.

“I'm sorry I lost our baby...” Dean whispers, finally letting the tears fall.

“It wasn't your fault, Dean.” Cas says softly, and wipes away the falling tears from Dean's face. Cas holds him tighter as Dean finally cries for their unborn child.

“Dean, I…I need to tell you something. I wasn't really helping other angels. I was...building a nest for you. For us.”

“A...a nest?” Dean sniffs.

“It is the alpha angel's duty to build a nest for his mate and offspring.” Cas explains. “I'm so sorry I didn't come sooner...” He apologizes and feels Dean stiffen under his touch. No matter what Cas says, he can never give a good enough excuse to why he came to Dean's and Sam's so late.

“I still love you, Dean. You know that, right?”

Dean nods. “Love you too.” He whispers.

“We'll get through this. I promise.” Cas vows to Dean, and the vow he makes for himself is to be at Dean's side until the hunter is well again, and after that. To be at his side until the very end.

“Yeah, okay.”


	3. Epilogue

_7 months later_

It takes Dean a long time to get over the loss of his and Cas' child, but he starts to come terms with it bit by bit, with Cas and Sam by his side. Dean is able to forgive Cas for coming to his rescue so late and their relationship was back on track, except for one thing.

They don't have sex in a long, long time.

Dean lets Cas spoon and cuddle with him, but they don't do anything sexual for months.

Until Dean surprises Cas one day by preparing himself for Cas by fingering himself loose, bending over for him and revealing his already lubed hole. His legs are shaking with anticipation and fear that Cas might not want him anymore, but the angel is on him in a second, his mouth on Dean's hole and his hands spreading Dean's buttocks apart for better access.

Dean comes before Cas' cock is fully inside of him.

That was two months ago, because for some reason, Dean isn't up for sex anymore. He's moody and doesn't want to be touched in any way.

And then he starts throwing up.

He keeps it a secret from Cas, not wanting to alarm the angel over nothing. He's sure that's what it is: Nothing. But when the throwing up doesn't go away, Dean starts to think about telling Cas that he might be pregnant again. He can't hide it forever, after all. Only problem is, that he is fucking terrified. If he's pregnant again, will he lose the baby like last time? He really doesn't want to go through all that again. He occasionally holds the bee plushie Cas bought for the first baby and cries, because even if he's over the death of their child, he certainly hasn't forgotten. He never could.

So, he tries to hide all of it from Cas, until one morning the angel wakes up when Dean jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom down the hall. He follows the hunter, and even with the bathroom door closed, he can hear how Dean empties his stomach to the toilet.

“Dean? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, 'm fine, Cas...Give me a minute...” Dean groans and throws up once more.

Cas waits patiently on the other side of the door, and when Dean finally emerges from the bathroom, Cas is all over him.

“What happened? Are you sick?”

“No, no I'm not...Cas...I – I need to talk to you.” Dean says, face serious and it makes Cas worry.

“O-Okay...” Cas stutters, really concerned now. Is Dean gonna break up with him? He's been very distant lately... Did Cas do something wrong? He doesn't think so. He's given Dean his space, just like the hunter wanted. He hasn't touched him in any way unless Dean wants him to.

They walk back to their room, and sit down on the bed. Dean fiddles with his fingers.

“I...Uh. I don't know how to tell you this...” He starts, not daring to look Cas in the eye. “Cas.. I'm – I think I'm pregnant.”

It takes Cas a few seconds to process what Dean just said, but when he finally does realize it, a huge smile appears on his face.

“Really?!” He absolutely shrieks, his hands grabbing Dean's shoulders. He's still smiling like a maniac.

“Yeah, I think I'm about two months along. I'm not sure, though. I...I could be wrong, so that's why I need you to make sure.”

“Of course, Dean.”

When Cas checked Dean for pregnancy the last time, he put two fingers on his forehead. Now he places his entire hand on his belly and concentrates.

And there it is: A new life's grace. It's still small and faint, but it's there. But, there’s something else…

“You... You really are pregnant. And that’s not all, Dean. You -- We are having twins.”

“T-twins?” Dean gulps.

“Yes, can you believe it?” Cas smiles happily, and presses his hand back to Dean’s belly. “There’s...There's another grace that feels very familiar...”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…It’s like I’ve felt it before. Let me take a better look.” Cas says and concentrates on the familiar grace.

“It’s...Dean, you’re not gonna believe it.”

“What?”

“It’s the grace of our previous child.”

“W-what?! For real?” Dean shrieks, not believing what he’s hearing right now.

“Yes. This…happens very rarely. Even if the body fails, the grace doesn’t go anywhere. It sort of...gets recycled.” Cas explains.

“So...we’re really having twins? A-and our first baby is...is one of them?” Dean asks, a little skeptically because this _can’t_ be true.

“It seems so, Dean.” Cas says, looks at Dean and gives him a crushing hug. “I'm so happy, Dean, but...Why didn't you come to me sooner?”

“I...I was afraid. You know, because of what happened last time --”

”That won't happen this time. I will keep you two safe, even if it kills me.”

“Don't say that, Cas. I don't want to lose you...”

“And I don't want to lose you, nor these children. Dean, we have been blessed. I will take care of you. I promise. And this time you are not to hunt. Understood?”

“Yeah, Cas." Dean sighs. "No hunting. It's for the best.”

“Good. Now, let me deliver the good news to Sam. I'm sure he'll be happy, as well.”

  
\- -

 

Dean's 9 months pregnant now, and he feels like he's ready to pop any minute. Having twins inside of him has made him huge, but Dean loves it. He keeps palming his belly all the time, talking to the babies...He even plays music for them sometimes. Dean doesn’t even care that his belly is covered in stretch marks, that’s how much he loves his unborn babies. He can’t believe that his first baby got another chance...He doesn’t know who he needs to thank, so he just thanks God and Cas.

Cas has spent a lot of time building their nest, but this time, it's inside the bunker, in their room. It's the one and only place where their family will be safe. Cas kind of wanted to have a place of their own, but Sam suggested that if the place becomes too crowded, he'll find another place to live, because he doesn't have a litter of children. And neither do Dean and Cas. Yet.

While Cas builds them a nest, Sam's been busy working on a nursery. In the early stages of his pregnancy, Dean said that they didn't need one, but Sam said to him: ”Shut up and let me do this for you guys.” And that was settled. And, of course Dean, given his delicate situation, wasn't allowed to help at all. Which made him frustrated.

So, he learned how to knit. Some years ago he might've made fun of a guy who knits, but now? No way, that shit is hard at first. He made a couple of practice runs, but then he started to knit wool socks for all of them, including the baby, and all other warm clothes, like scarfs. He also wants to knit a plush toy for the baby, but he's not sure what he should make.

When the time finally comes for Dean to give birth, Sam and Cas keep panicking around him, while he's surprisingly calm himself. He ends up walking around the bunker in the early stages of the birth, because it’s supposed to help. Well, his walking is more like waddling, because he’s so big.

It takes him many hours to deliver the babies, but eventually their twin baby boys are welcomed to the world. Dean cries when he gets to hold his sons, and Cas gets a little misty eyed. Sam wonders what's that about, because angels aren't supposed to be able to cry. Maybe there's more humanity in Cas than he lets on.

When they settle in bed that night, with their newborns next to their bed, Dean says something that Cas thought he'd never say.

“Next time...I want a girl.”

“Next...Next time? There's gonna be a next time?”

“If you're up for it.” Dean says and wriggles closer to Cas.

“Of course I am, Dean.”

That night Dean dreams of their future, and sleeps with a smile on his face.


End file.
